New year, new … resolution? No. I think, it’s a bit of a waste of time really. And why make resolutions dependent on calendars and dates? In the end time is a running stream, a collection of drops of moments, it can be measured, but it can’t be held.
I don’t want to get philosophical here though.
It’s the last day of December 2019, the last day of a year and a decade. I actually should write a resumé about my year or the last decade. I chose not to. I measure years, decades and time in good memories. I am not numbering them in dates. When I think back over the last months (and years for that matter), cycling moments come to mind, some little achievements I made while cycling.
Before I go into that, I have to admit that I am not a good cyclist. My Strava profile says: “Riding for fun, not for glory”, and that’s about it. I will never be able to hold an average 28km/h over 100km, and I also never will be able to climb Mount Ventoux three times in one day (respect to all who can and did and will). I ride for fun, for exercise, for seeing new places (and old ones again), and I ride to fuel my rather small self-esteem.
When I say I do not ride for glory, I must admit, that this is not entirely true. I ride for my own glory, to be proud on myself and to grow my inner thick skin. Despite my fears of all sorts of things, like descending or taking narrow corners fast (which is really hard, because my sense of balance is not very good at all), I go out and ride, and for that I do glory myself, even more so because, to be honest, most days I struggle leaving the house to start with. Stepping onto the mine field that is the neurotypical world is a daily challenge. But that is another story, too (or more).
In September I set out yet again, to Livigno, where a ‘friend’ and I had planned to meet (he let me down) and then to France. It’s a long journey and I did a stopover along the Vosges, and on a whim thought, why not try and cycle up le Grand Ballon? I did and that went well.

In Livigno I went hiking and stuff, but sadly didn’t enjoy it very much, because frankly I was quite disappointed that my friend had let me down. So, after my time there I drove to Volonne, a place near Sisteron in Provence, where I stayed in a lovely little cottage in a huge vegetable garden with pomegranate and plum trees, peace, quiet and cute cats. One day I read that one of my Facebook acquaintances was planning to cycle up Mount Ventoux three times in one day, so I thought, if he can do it three times, I can try to do it at least once. Mount Ventoux was about an hour drive away from my little cottage and so I drove to Sault, unpacked my bike and went up the mountain. Mount Ventoux is a bit of a bastard actually, when you think you have mastered all those altitudes you go round a corner and you see another ascent which is exhausting to be honest. Anyway, I made it, and I was happy, I really was. I spoke to some other cyclists, one took my picture (see below), and it was all so nice that the good feeling muted my fear of going downhill. I took all my courage and sped down to Bédoin and then back to Sault. Halfway back there was another ascent that really got me, but I took it slow and made it back to Annegret (my car), and we drove back to Sisteron, me singing and Annegret doing her car-thing.

The road up.

The road up

The view from near the top of Ventoux down south

The view from near the top up the last ramp (the meanest one!)

View from the top down east.

A week later I was in Nice, a place surrounded by les Alpes-Maritimes, and I thought, why not doing it again and climb a mountain or two? So I planned a track from Saint Blaise in the Rhône-Alpes, along the Gorges de la Vesubie up the Col de la Madone – a tour not as famous as climbing up the Mount Ventoux but much more beautiful. You can find the complete tour here on Komoot. The Gorges de la Vesubie is an elongated valley, a canyon, but very green with rocks and forests. At the end of the gorge I passed a pretty little village named St. Jean la Rivière and from there on it was about 20km uphill, along Utelle up to Col de la Madone d’Utelle. What I really loved about this tour was the fact that I didn’t meet anyone, maybe two cars passed but that was about it. It was totally silent, there was wind in the trees, some birds singing, sheep baaah-ing, little animals swishing through the grass, but that was about it. And that was lovely. That is what I love most about cycling – being alone with myself and nature, undisturbed, peace in my head and quiet in my brains. I think of nothing but going on, ” … another pedal stroke, oh look, the view is lovely, it’s still quite some way to go up … a sip of water would be good, how undisturbed this landscape is …” etc. blablabla. I just love this. Usually there’s lots of party and turmoil in my head, so times like that day up the Col de la Madone are heaven, for my head, soul and the whole me, actually.

Here is, how it was.

Roads and tunnels (I love tunnels)

The road along les Gorges de la Vesubie

Les Gorges de la Vesubie – it was endless and oh so quiet. I think I met one car, if at all,

Little village called Saint Jean la Rivière. From there it was only ascend until the top.

View down to Utelle.

It wasn’t as dramatic as it looks.

The last couple meters until the top.

The view

On the way down, back in Saint Jean la Rivière, one of many much needed water wells. Water was delicious.

View along les Gorges de la Vesuble,

Same way back with a detour along the Col du Grau

My happy empty head.

Here’s a map of the tour.

And so, because it was all so nice and calming, a couple days later I went on another Col tour, this time the Col du Turini and neighbouring peaks. This tour was a bit different. It wasn’t as solitary and quiet but still breathtakingly beautiful. Exhausting, too, but the views, the roads and the landscape were a big big reward.

Some impressions:

The road from Sospel fo Moulinet

… I mean, look at these roads

… and tournantes.

Moulinet

Tunnels. There were many of them.

One of those tournantes. Unfortunately this was also a sort of proving ground for wealthy fools from Monaco (according to their number plates) to try and get the most of their porsches and ferraris and whatnot. Thoroughly annoying in such a peaceful area. 🙄

Memorial of two brave young men from Moulinet who both died fighting National Socialism.

Col du Turini. Not that spectacular, maybe because I had a row with a bunch of idiot German motorcyclists.

Thank God this road was out of bounds for them, so I fled.

… and was soon back on peaceful roads with turns and bends and a view … just wonderful.

I stopped so many times just to suck it all in.

(and to take photos, of course)

The view down south.

Roads like these

My happy descending face.

Road crossing, I went left up another Col.

The landscape changed to another beautiful setting,

… without another soul in sight. Just me.

Col de Braus.

Other famous humans have been here, too.

And that was the last Col, before I rode back to Sospel.

So those were my highlight moments of 2019. Like I said, I am a slow cyclist with a rather small amount of self-esteem. But I’m proud I made it up and down those mountains. It still makes me plain happy, and that I wanted to commemorate and share.

Some random things, facts, places that I loved along the way through 2019

Songs
(click on the names to listen)
Tour Alaska – Old Grass Tennis Court
The National – Hey Rosey
Snow Patrol – Made Of Something Different Now
Deichkind – Show’n Shine
Voces8 – Lux Aeterna
Saint Sister – Causing Trouble
Frightened Rabbit – Swim Until You Can’t See Land
Tired Pony – Get On The Road
Revolverheld – Laß Uns Gehn
Anna Ternheim – Bow Your Head
Ryan McMullan – Fairy Tale Of New York
Sailing La Vagabonde (Elayna Carausu) – Devil Like Me

Books
The Gaslight Effect – Robin Stern (more about that later, maybe)
A Farewell To Ice – Peter Wadhams
Zwei Brüder – Mahir Guven
100 Hugs – Chris Riddell
Poems To Live Your Live By – Chris Riddell
Art Matters – Neil Gaiman (with Chris Riddell)
Das Leben Ist Eins Der Härtesten – Giulia Becker
Shotgun Lovesongs – Nicholas Butler
Was Ich Noch Sagen Wollte – Helmut Schmidt
La Burle – Paul Perrève
Your Second Life Begins When You Realise You Only Have One – Raphaëlle Giordano
Der Schimmelreiter – Theodor Storm (The Rider On The White Horse)
Die Schwarze Spinne – Jeremias Gotthelf (The Black Spider)
If All The World And Love Were Youg – Stephen Sexton
100 Poems – Seamus Heaney
Mythos – Stephen Fry
Keine Ahnung, Ob Das Richtig Ist – Julia Engelmann
Wer Ist Hier Eigentlich Autistisch? – Brit Wilczek
(and many more, but those are the ones that stuck with me)

Places I visited in 2019
Mallorca, Spain
Schouwen-Duiveland, The Netherlands
Lisboa, Portugal
Dublin and Swords,Ireland
Beaune (Bourgogne), France
Ardèche region (Auvergne-Rhône-Alpes), France
Gensac (Périgord), France
Sarlat-le-Canéda (Périgord), France
Le Guilvinec (Bretagne), France
Saint-Pierre-Quiberon (Bretagne), France
Belle Île-en-Mer (Bretagne), France
Pentrez (Bretagne), France
Paris, France
Saint-Amand-les-Eaux (Nord), France
La Bresse (Vosges), France
Livigno, Italy
Volonne (Alpes-de-Haute-Provence ), France
Sault and Mont Ventoux (Alpes-de-Haute-Provence), France
Nice (Alpes-Maritimes), France
Col de la Madone d’Utelle (Alpes-Maritimes), France
Col de Turini et al (Alpes-Maritimes), France
Leipzig and Dresden, Germany
London, England
Belfast, Northern Ireland
… I think that’s about it.

For 2020 I made plans and will continue as the year goes. Nothing is set in stone. Things change. That’s their nature. Change is good (although I do wish some things would change back, oh well).
Anyway. Let’s climb the Col du 2020.

Claudi x

… and I want to add a quote from my favourite sanity reminder, Ally McBeal, said by John Cage: “If you think back and replay your year, if it doesn’t bring you tears of either joy or sadness, consider it wasted.”

My year wasn’t a waste at all.

☺️